Friday, January 23, 2009

30 days to go! (Aaaaaahhhh!)

Week 36

Routine checkup yesterday with the measuring and the listening to the heartbeat, both of which were a-ok. Also did the Group B Strep test, the results of which I will find out at my next appointment. It's not a huge deal - 1 in 5 women are GBS carriers and most have no idea. All it means is that you'll have to have IV anitbiotics for a few hours once you go into labor so you don't pass it to the baby. Dr. O also did a cervical check and poked the baby's head! He, thankfully, did not seem to notice. She said that while I'm fingertip-width dilated, the baby's head is pretty far back, which means he's not engaged and hasn't dropped yet. Translation: it's gonna be another couple weeks. I am both happy and sad about this.

Sad because it means another 2-5 weeks of being pregnant, when I already feel so huge I can't imagine possibly getting any bigger, and not being able to sleep comfortably and the various other inconveniences and discomforts of pregnancy, and most of all, being anxious to meet my little one.

But it also makes me happy because despite all the various inconveniences and discomforts, I have greatly enjoyed being pregnant. Unlike a lot of women I've heard from, I've enjoyed seeing and feeling the changes in my body and sharing the pregnancy with Mr. Fantastic, and most of all, feeling Peanut moving inside me. That most of all is something I will miss acutely. I'm sure that once I have an actual baby to distract me, I won't notice so much, but right now just the thought of not feeling him rolling around in there anymore makes me so sad.

Also, I will cop to the fact that the closer it gets, the more I realize that I'M GOING TO BE SOMEBODY'S MOTHER, which is scary and freaky and exciting all at once. Not to mention, it's a lot easier to take care of a baby who lives inside me than one who lives on the outside. So I'm still overall happy to keep him inside just a leetle bit longer.

Almost every night, Mr. F and I lay on the couch or in bed with our hands on my belly, just feeling the baby move, and it's a really lovely time of closeness and connection for us. I'll miss that too, and I hope we can find a new way to do that once the baby's here.

Speaking of Peanut and moving around...since he's gotten bigger, there's less room for him to actually poke/kick/punch, and now it's more of a rolling, squirmy thing. It hurts less (usually not at all, except when he's got a foot lodged under my ribs) but looks a lot weirder. When the kiddo decides to start moving, the whole belly gets involved. And at times, I do get slightly concerned because I swear something is actually going to burst through. It's fascinating to watch - my stomach has become sentient. Literally! Some days, he moves around so much, I swear he is trying to escape or is looking for something. The exit, possibly, because it's pretty cramped in there.

I spend a lot of time staring down at my belly, watching it lurch around without any input from me. Many of my Conversations with Peanut these days involve me looking incredulously at my belly as it heaves itself to and fro and asking, "What are you doing in there?" Or sometimes it goes like this:

Peanut: *squirm squirm squirm JAB*
Belly: *barely retains the alien trying to escape*
Me: You do know there's only one way out of there, right?
Peanut: Yes! And it's! *jams foot in my ribs*
Me: Ow!
Peanut: *squirm squirm roll* No, wait, it'! *pokes butt into the underside of my belly button*
Me: *headdesk*
Peanut: No, here! *continues squirming randomly*
Me: Seriously, dude...I promise, you will see the exit when it's time. You don't have to keep looking for it.
Peanut: I will not be vinced! *shakes tiny fist*

While enormously entertaining for both me and Mr. Fantastic at seven in the evening, this is much less amusing at two in the morning. Even less so when Peanut seems to have exhausted his fruitless Search for the Great Egress and quiets down, only to develop hiccups thirty seconds later. The hiccups are a charming little tickle down near my left ovary that generally don't bother me when I'm not in bed trying to sleep. I don't even notice them after he initially starts, but when I'm in bed with nothing else to distract me? OY. Please smother me into unconsciousness, because all I want is to go to sleep.

Me: *watching clock in the dark* Please, please, please can we call off the Search for the Great Egress for a little while? It's not going anywhere and I'd really like to get some sleep.
Peanut: *grumbling* Fine! Fine. *flops around a few more times, petulantly arranging his pillow*
Me: *eyeroll* Are we done now, your highness? Thank you. *tries to sleep*
(Thirty seconds pass)
Peanut: ...
Me: ...
Crickets: *chirping*
Peanut: *hic*
Me: Nonononono! *pats belly* None of that now, sleepy time.
Peanut: *hic hic hic*
Me: Nooooo!
Peanut: *hic hic hic hic hic hichichichichichichic*
Me: Waily waily waily!

And so on, for what seems like eternity but which is actually less than ten minutes. I have resigned myself to this sleeping thing not actually improving once Peanut's out here in the world. (Waily.)

In other news, the first of two baby showers is tomorrow and I'm so excited! My cousins (H's 1-3 and G and T) are hosting for me and I know they'll put on a lovely party. I'm excited to open presents and especially to see some people that I don't on a regular basis. Particularly some of Mummy Fantastic's friends who were also friends with my mom, and some of my other cousins who I haven't seen in a while. Instead of your traditional baby shower, we're doing a late afternoon/early evening cocktail party type of thing, with, most importantly, no bloody games. I hate baby and bridal showers, mostly because they take up your Saturday afternoon with stupid games and don't even have the decency to get you drunk so it's tolerable. So I told my cousins the only thing I really cared about was games = no, alcohol = yes, and they, all being of excellently like minds, agreed. We actually all discussed this when we planned H3's baby shower back in October, and she felt the same way, so we've already thrown one excellent baby shower.

Mr. F's aunt and cousin are having a shower for me next weekend - also excellently planned for the evening and which I am sure will also include wine.

We're also having our last open house for the condo tomorrow. I don't know how I feel about that - I mean, what if we get an offer on the place now? I would be absolutely useless to help with a move at this point. I can barely bend over, let alone actually lift anything. I mean, I was very keen on moving asap a couple of months ago and I still want an actual house but I guess I had reconciled myself to being here for a few months after the baby. So I'm having mixed feelings. I'm sure whatever happens will be for the best but it is certainly a daunting prospect that's being moved to the front of my mind again.