Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Brother update

We saw the oncologist yesterday for the results of his PET scan and got the best news we could’ve. The scan shows there is no other cancer besides the 2mm spot in his lung, and the brain shows clear now as well.

The doctors are still discussing a treatment plan, but most likely he won’t be doing radiation, instead he’ll do chemo. In about six months, regardless of how well the lung spot responds to the chemo, they’ll go in and remove whatever is left of it. We have another appointment on the 31st, so we’ll know more then, but he should be starting the chemo shortly after that.

All in all, this is great news and we’re very relieved.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Brother update

We got to take my brother home from the hospital today! Hooray!

They took the sutures out of his head last night and today we got to bring him home. My dad's staying with him tonight, and prolly for the next few days, even a week.

He's got a walker to make sure he doesn't fall, and about five prescriptions, and he went to bed at 5:30, but he's home. Once he got in bed, he said it was the most comfortable bed in the world. LOL! I'm sure it is, after being in a hospital bed for two weeks. It was funny, the nurses called him "cranie" because that's what they call everyone who's had a craniotomy.

Anyway, still have a long way to go, but he's doing wonderfully after the surgery.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

State of the Me

Time for another State of the Me.

My brother is doing really well. They moved him out of the ICU today and into a regular room. They took the bandages off his head also, and his incision is a three-sided square that starts at his right temple, goes up and across, over his ear, and then back down on the back side of his ear. Big nasty stitches but it actually looks pretty good. In fact, he looks remarkably good, considering he had brain surgery a week ago.

They've started physical therapy, getting him up and walking and working with his hands - for some reason, both his hands are really swollen and hard to use. That's more a product of all the IVs and fluids they've been pumping into him than anything to do with brain function. They said he could go home as soon as they feel he's mobile and independent enough, which could be as early as Friday.

We saw the oncologist today, who was very optimistic and made both me and my dad feel really hopeful that we're not going to lose my brother to this. As they told us before, they'll do radiation and probably chemo. But first they have to do a PET scan, which will help them see if there are any other "hot spots" of cancer cells anywhere else. They're pretty certain this was all caused by an untreated lesion on his forearm but can't say for sure. My brother took the news well - they told him the lab results yesterday. I feel like such a coward for not telling him myself when he asked, even though that's what the docs and social worker told me to do.

So, we're not out of the woods yet, but I am feeling much, much better about the situation than I was a week ago. Tomorrow is my grandmother's funeral, and I will be glad to be done with that. My other brother visited the hospital on Monday and I'm glad he's finally done that. I remember when my mom was sick, he hardly ever visited. I think he's just really uncomfortable in hospitals. I know it meant a lot to our brother for him to visit.

My brother's best friend flew in from Long Beach. He got in Sunday morning and left Monday night. He's getting married this weekend and my brother was supposed to be the best man. I feel bad that he has to miss it. I'm glad his friend came out because I think it really cheered my brother up.

I went and got a manicure with my cousin H3 on Saturday afternoon, and then we had dinner & drinks with my cousin H1 and her family. It was a nice break and I really appreciated them making me get out of the hospital and not think about it for a while. I was also able to get to my doctor yesterday afternoon and she prescribed me some Xanax for when things start to feel overwhelming. She also gave me an Ambien prescription to help me sleep, but it has to be pre-authorized by my insurance, so I didn't pick it up because it would've cost over $100 without my insurance. I'll try Tylenol PM and see if that helps.

In other news, today is Mr. Fantastic's and my anniversary. Eight years. It kind of snuck up on us, what with everything going on, so we didn't really do anything special to celebrate. Mr. F did get me a card and a bouquet of flowers and we're going to try and do something in the next week or two like get a couples massage or something.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Brother update

Quick update on my brother. They extubated him today. YAY! So glad they got that tube out...he was miserable with it. He was awake for a lot of yesterday and just hated being on the machine.

Of course, despite the fact that I asked them to call me before they did it, I got there only to discover they had already done it. Grr. But my brother didn't seem to mind, and we talked, he's already getting his voice back. He says he's feeling pretty good, considering.

And one of the first things he asked me was if it was cancer...I thought he should hear it from a doctor and not me so I told him we weren't sure and were waiting to hear from the doctors. I guess that's kind of chicken of me, but I don't have any answers for him and at least if the doctor tells him, he'll be able to ask questions. But both the surgeon and the critical care doc are gone until Monday.

I told Mitch the Cute Social Worker that my brother had asked. Mitch spoke with the intern and then came in and told my brother that the surgeon would be in on Monday to tell him the results. After Mitch left, my brother looked at me and said, "Well, that doesn't sound good..." So I'm sure he's got an idea but I hope he doesn't worry about it all weekend. But I know I would.

I am really angry with my father right now. Yesterday he was supposed to be off taking care of arrangements for my Grandmother, but he didn't. He went home and got drunk and was completely useless. So today he's trying to get arrangements done for my Grandmother and who knows if he'll go by the hospital at all. When I spoke with him today, he asked why I was unhappy with him and I told him and he said, "Well, I had to decompress." And I'm like, that's great, I'm so happy that YOU got to decompress. Meanwhile, I can't sleep or eat and I'm thinking about seeing if my doctor will prescribe me some valium just so I can keep my shit together. And he's off "decompressing."

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Brother update

Okay. So, today has not been the best day. They were unsuccessful at getting my brother off the ventilator. He was breathing fine when they turned the machine down but his blood pressure was way up and so they couldn't do it. They're going to try again tomorrow.

And then while I was at the hospital, my aunt Merrilee called the ICU to tell me that my grandmother died this morning. So my dad's going to be out of pocket for the next couple of days while he takes care of the arrangements.

I was alone at the hospital when I talked to my aunt and it all was just too much. I called Mr. F and my cousin H and they came down and my dad got there too, so I had some support pretty quick. And Mitch the social worker guy was there too, before anyone else had gotten there. Still. I...just. I'm so overwhelmed right now. I feel like I can't breathe. I have never felt less capable in my life. God, I wish my mom was here.

The one good thing about today is that while they were trying to get my brother to breathe on his own, they backed off the sedation and it made him quite alert. He was answering questions by shaking or nodding his head and squeezed my hand when I spoke to him.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Brother update

We got some good news and some bad news today.

The good news is that they wrote the orders to wake my brother up tomorrow. The bad news is that the labs came back on the tumor and it is melanoma.

While normally associated with skin cancer, melanoma can also affect the brain because the brain has epidermis cells in it from when the body first develops in the womb. They're bringing in the oncologist (Dr. Jotte) tomorrow to talk to us and we'll know more then, but the basic plan is to do a localized radiation blast to his head and probably follow that up with chemo.

I was somewhat encouraged today because he was opening his eyes some and responding to my voice and touch. It made me feel like he was definitely still in there. We really won't know if his brain has been affected or how much until he's awake and can communicate. Once they take the ventilator out, he won't be able to talk much or at all for a while but he should be able to nod and mouth words and write. Will update again when I know more.