Thursday, July 3, 2008

Where is the joy, I ask you? WHERE?

Oh my god, why does EVERYTHING make me want to throw up? I am STARVING and yet, if I put one morsel into my mouth, I suddenly feel like I've eaten lead shot. Bleargh. The books said this wasn't supposed to start until next week.

Meanwhile, my skin hates the baby. My forehead looks like Southeast Asia. I'm more of a pimply-faced teenager now than when I was an actual teenager.

Also, I am gassy yet constipated, which is a really interesting combination. Plus, I seem to get dizzy every time I stand up. And best of all, I found a hair growing where they, don't (oh, just see if you can guess where). That was horrifying and I am praying that either A) No more grow there because OMG, EW, I am a circus freak; or B) If they do, I will be so busy experiencing the many other joys of pregnancy that I won't notice and neither will Mr. Fantastic because OMG, EW.

Mr. F's Auntie Trish says I'm "blooming." That must be a very nice, British way of ignoring the fact that I'm barfy, zitty, gassy and hairy. When's the part where I'm glowy and beautiful?

In other news, this week, the peanut is now bigger than an actual peanut and looks like Alien, although the books promise the tail will be going away soon.

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