Baby update

Week 33

Had an ultrasound and OB visit this morning. The ultrasound was to check growth, again, because Dr. Owens is crazy. Okay, it was actually because she's still worried about the gestational diabetes (because she is crazy.) So the scan was great and Susie the Ultrasound Lady estimates Peanut to be about 4 pounds 5 ounces and all the other measurements she took (like head circumfrence, femur length, etc.) show him to be measuring right on target - somewhere in the 50-52nd percentile.

I asked her where various parts were because I've been so lopsided on the right. My belly is all hard on the right, and that's also where I get most of the big movement, so I had kind of figured Peanut was all crammed over on the right side there. But it turns out, he is head down with his back to my left side. There's a big hard bump right in the middle, just above my belly button, which we had guessed was his butt and Susie the Ultrasound Lady confirmed that, but said that it's his hands, feet, elbows and knees all over there on the right and that's why I feel so much over there. I think maybe he's angled in there with his back more towards my back and all the small parts more toward the front and that's why it seems almost empty over on the left.

Then we saw Dr. Guggenheim, (one of Dr. O's partners because Dr. O is on vacation) who was very pleased with the scan and with my 4X daily glucose checks for the last almost-a-month. She measured me and said I'm right on target too and was extraordinarily pleased with my progress. She used the word perfect several times and said she wishes all their patients were like me. The best part is that she doesn't think I have GD at all. However, she wants me to contine testing myself every other day for the next two weeks (until next appt with Dr. O) or until I run out of my testing supplies. Progress! At least I get to cut back the finger-sticking a bit and hopefully, hopefully Dr. O will DROP IT ALREADY by next time.

Although there's no way to tell on the ultrasound, the book estimates Peanut is about 17 inches long and says he is mostly done cooking. Now all he's really doing is some final brain development and gaining weight. And, as warned by the book, I am experiencing shortness of breath frequently as Peanut is taking up more and more room and blithely shoving my organs around. It's really annoying to be sitting on the couch, panting like I just ran a marathon. Lots of deep breaths help, and thankfully, it's not all the time.

And good news, we got some great baby stuff for Christmas - some clothes, the softest teddy bear ever, a swing and somehow, each of my brothers ended up getting us a Pack n Play. We have traded one of those in for the stroller/carseat travel system, so yay! Peanut won't have to go naked or sleep in a drawer now. And even better, Steve says we can leave the big stuff at his place for as long as we need to, which will prolly be until my baby shower on Jan 24, at which point we're going to call it quits for a while on trying to sell the condo and make room for baby.

Ok, finally, I am going to tell you something very much TMI that nobody told me until I started asking my girlfriends about it and then many of them breezily said, oh, yes, that happened to me, la la la, as if it was nothing. For the last couple of weeks, my, er, external ladyparts HURT. I am achy from pubic bone to tailbone, all on the outside. It's very weird - feels like I've been excessively riding a bicycle with a really large seat and is making me walk funnier than I already do what with the pregnant waddle I've acquired.

The books tell you that your ladyparts may get "somewhat swollen" and "may turn a darker color." Let me tell you that when I finally examined the ladyparts in a mirror last night because they were hurting so much, I did not recognize my own vajayjay. They are not kidding about the swelling - the entire area is puffed up like I've never seen before and is a super dark red color. The hoo-ha looks ANGRY. (This is especially funny because Mr. Fantastic, being ever-supportive, was holding the mirror for me so I could have both hands free to examine the ladyparts, and we both had matching OMG faces upon getting an eyefull of my junk.)

This would have been nice to know ahead of time, and trust me when I tell you that the books' timid little "may do this" and "might get that" did not do justice to the angry tiki god in my pants. I mean, everybody knows about the barfing and peeing and hemorrhoids (which I thankfully have not gotten, KNOCK WOOD) but nobody told me that my ladyparts would eventually look and feel like they'd been flogged BEFORE the baby comes. I mean, I expect some unhappy ladyparts after having the baby but I was not prepared for the startled puffer fish to happen already.

The doctor assured me this morning that this is totally normal and that I can take Tylenol to help but that basically it's going to stay this way until the baby comes. I have also tried stuffing both a heating pad (very soothing and nice) and an ice pack (horrible, horrible, OMG, NO) down my pants. Oh, and she also mentioned stretching...which, um, I will gladly try but I don't see how that is going to help some of the more specific of the parts as opposed to the whole ladyregion in general.

That's it for now, all is well and I'm preening over being a perfect, perfect baby maker. :)