Okay. So, today has not been the best day. They were unsuccessful at getting my brother off the ventilator. He was breathing fine when they turned the machine down but his blood pressure was way up and so they couldn't do it. They're going to try again tomorrow.
And then while I was at the hospital, my aunt Merrilee called the ICU to tell me that my grandmother died this morning. So my dad's going to be out of pocket for the next couple of days while he takes care of the arrangements.
I was alone at the hospital when I talked to my aunt and it all was just too much. I called Mr. F and my cousin H and they came down and my dad got there too, so I had some support pretty quick. And Mitch the social worker guy was there too, before anyone else had gotten there. Still. I...just. I'm so overwhelmed right now. I feel like I can't breathe. I have never felt less capable in my life. God, I wish my mom was here.
The one good thing about today is that while they were trying to get my brother to breathe on his own, they backed off the sedation and it made him quite alert. He was answering questions by shaking or nodding his head and squeezed my hand when I spoke to him.