Thursday, January 17, 2008

Oh honey. It's a good thing you're cute.

From the Conversations with Mr. Fantastic Files:

Mr. Fantastic: *pointing at the t.v.* Hey, you have one of those things!
Me: *looking up from laptop* Hm? One of what things?
Mr. F: One of those things that goes across the table but doesn't really do anything.
Me: ...a table runner?
Mr. F: Is that what they're called?


(on the phone )
Me: Whatcha doing?
Mr F: Watching Donna play Italy.
Me: What?
Mr F: I'm watching Donna play Italy.
Me: Who?
Mr F: Italy.
Mr F: No, I know, but what did you say?
Mr F: [loud] IT-A-LY. You know, boot shaped country?
Me: ... [rolling eyes] Yes, I got that, but who else?
Mr F: GHA-NA. Little country in Africa?
Me: Oh, Ghana. I thought you said Donna. I was picturing a little girl taking on all of Italy.
Mr F: ...


Mr. Fantastic is watching some show on the National Geographic channel about some guys who got attacked by a bear (because that's the kind of geek HE is). And these two guys are like hiking along a river or lake or something, looking for help, and the very first boat they run into had both a doctor and a policeman on it.

Mr. F: Wow, that was lucky!
Me: *surfing 'net* Hmm, what?
Mr. F: blah blah attacked by bear blah blah boat doctor policeman.
Me: Oh, wow, that is lucky!
Mr. F: Yeah, you know, with my luck, the first boat I'd find would have a stripper and a clown on it.
Me: ... *collapses in helpless laughter*


Mr.F called me at work and we had the following conversation:

Me: Hello?
Mr.F: Hi. Whatcha doin'?
Me: Working. What're you up to?
Mr.F: Trying to fix lunch. Have you seen my burrito?
Me: ...What?
Mr.F: My burrito. I lost it.
Me: ...A...frozen?...burrito?
Mr.F: Yeah, I bought one and now I can't find it.
Me: ...You...lost...a burrito?
Mr.F: Yeah, I wanted it for lunch but I lost it.
Me ...
Mr.F: Have you seen it?
Me: ...Did you look in the freezer?
Mr.F: [excited] Why, did you see it in there?
Me: ...No, but that's probably where it would be.
Mr.F: So you haven't seen it.
Me: No. Maybe you ate it already.
Mr.F: No, I would know if I ate it already. The cheese dip hasn't been opened yet.
Me: ...
(At this point, I realize that we have both an unopened cheese dip in the cupboard, and also an open cheese dip in the fridge, so he probably did eat it already. But I am trying to work here, so I wisely decline to bring this up. And I also laugh to myself that the way he knows he hasn't eaten his burrito yet is dependent on the presence of unopened cheese dip and not the presence of [or lack thereof] the actual burrito itself.)

Mr.F: So, you haven't seen it?
Me: No, honey, I'm sorry. I don't know where it is.
Mr.F: [sad] Darn. I lost my burrito.
Me: [soothing] I'm sorry you lost your burrito, honey.

God, he makes me laugh. ♥

No comments: