And then when I can finally talk Peanut into eating something, I get maybe two bites in and it's suddenly as if I've eaten a cannonball. Whatever thing I've negotiated with Peanut for - and let me tell you, Peanut has agreed to some weird things that I never would've guessed would be okay - sits heavily in my stomach before sending scouts crawling back up my throat and I sit there nauseous and regretting having wheedled Peanut into it.
The things you'd think Peanut and I could agree on - a cracker, sip of milk, gentle, innocuous foods - no dice. Plain, bland foods don't sound good to either of us. Some things just the thought of eating will make me nauseous. It's hard to stick to the high-protein, low-carb diet I'm supposed to follow as a gastric bypass patient. So there's a lot of times I'll consider eating things that I normally wouldn't. Sometimes it goes like this:
- Me: *rummaging through kitchen, giving long list of options to Peanut*
- Peanut: No, no and no.
- Me: Okay, how about...a potato chip?
- Peanut: No.
- Me: Peice of cheese?
- Peanut: No.
- Me: *stares forlornly at kitchen*
- Peanut: How about those Cheetos there?
- Me: Seriously?
- Peanut: Is there any ice cream?
- Me: Sigh.
And it doesn't help that Peanut keeps tricking me into eating things only to reject them later. We've had a lot of conversations like this:
- Me: *rummaging through kitchen* How about...a cracker?
- Peanut: No.
- Me: Hmm. Slice of ham? Toast?
- Peanut: No and no.
- Me: Peanut butter?
- Peanut: ...
- Me: Sorry. Um, how about some chees-
- Peanut: GOD, no.
- Me: Okay, how about this other kind of cheese?
- Peanut: Yes.
- Me: Oka-Really? All right! *nom nom nom*
- Peanut: Just kidding!
- Me: *is queasy*
- Peanut: *gleefully evil cackle*
- Me: Sigh.
Do you know what I have eaten today? French fries. Yep. That's it. It was the only thing I could talk Peanut into and there was still some debate about it after the fact, but at least it was something. I couldn't even bring myself to have my usual protein shake today, which has almost always been okay with Peanut. At this rate, I don't think I need to worry about gaining too much weight during the first trimester - I'll be lucky if it's any.
Also, I continue to get dizzy literally every time I stand up. I keep forgetting that it's going to happen and so I'll be up out of my chair halfway on my way to whatever I'm doing when all of a sudden, whoa and I have to grab on to something. The books promise me this is also normal, although I wouldn't be surprised if my lack of food and my sometime-anemia are contributing.
In the good news category, the pimples have, for the most part, disappeared from my forehead. Unfortunately, they seem to have migrated to my neck. This is highly disturbing and I feel like everywhere I go, people are staring at my pox-ridden neck. Mr. F does his best to assure me that nobody but me even notices, but conversations like this don't do a lot to help my confidence:
- Me: *frantically examining neck in mirror* Honey, look at this! It's getting worse. Do you think it's getting worse? I think it's getting worse.
- Mr. Fantastic: *soothingly* No, not at all, sweetie, it's-OH MY GOD. Er, I mean...
- Me: *despairs*
That just happened the one time, though. Now, despite whatever ailment I'm moaning about, Mr. F has learned to tell me I'm wonderful and beautiful and he loves me. Sometimes he will add an offer to go get me something to eat. Smart man.
Luckily, I see my surgeon on soon to discuss diet and how to get enough protein and calories in to make sure Peanut is doing ok. And I see the OBGYN next week - looking forward to that, as it's my first ultrasound and we may be able to hear the heartbeat. Yay!
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