OW. *stabbity stab*

DAMN YOU, OVARIES! *shakes tiny fist* Ow ow ow.

OW.

Why must you torment me so? I'm talking to YOU, righty.

NOT ON.

*curls into whimpering ball*

State of the me

Another state of the me... Got back a little while ago from Day 8 birthday drinks with Debra and cousin H1. Yes, it's true, I am officially off the wagon again. Am taking it very easy with the alcohol and having lots of water along with, but it's just nice to be able to go out for drinks with friends again. Was lovely, but H couldn't stay as long as I'd've liked. Great to catch up and chat with them both, though. And H gave me a birthday card and a Starbucks gift card! I can't wait to go get one of those strawberry drinks for my next treat.

Speaking of birthdays, Mr. Fantastic and I had our combined family birthday BBQ at my brother's on Day 6 of My Birthday this weekend. Got tons of great stuff, including a beautiful necklace from one of my SIL's, some gift cards for department stores (great for buying new clothes when I need them!) and a Flying Spaghetti Monster emblem for my car. Also, I ate some ice cream and it was yummy and didn't make me sick as I've been told any kind of sugar would do, due to my surgery. It was nice to know I can have a little indulgence now and then.

Speaking of health, had a doctor's appointment on Monday to draw some labs in preparation for my 3 month follow-up with my surgeon next week. (Can you believe it's been three months since my surgery?! I can't!) Blood pressure went from 146/92 before surgery to 120/70. Quite an improvement. I can't wait to see the results of my blood work - cholesterol and such. Should be interesting. Have now lost a total of 45 pounds. Yippee!

However, I am officially an Old Person. Because of the surgery, there's like a million pills I have to take every day, both morning and night. I kept forgetting which ones I took and when and so I finally broke down and got one of these: a pill organizer. Sigh. Also got a B-12 shot while I was at the doc's office, so that's one less pill I have to take every day. Plus, I really, really HATE the way that B-12 pill tastes, and I can't just swallow it, I have to let it sit under my tongue until it's gone. Blecch. But the shot is good for a month, so Yay, no more nasty B-12.

Last time I was at the grocery store, I bought Alba shave cream. This stuff ROCKS. It's more like a lotion than your tpical shaving cream, and it's a billion times better than any foam-type shaving cream I have ever used. It makes shaving so easy and so much less of a chore that I have been inspired to shave my legs more than once a month. Plus, super-soft skin when I'm done and no nicks. I can't recommend it highly enough.

Various and sundry

You want to know just how fantastic Mr. Fantastic is? Unprompted, he DVR’d the Spelling Bee for me. That’s love, man. Or at least, that’s knowing exactly how big a geek I am. And still loving me anyway.

Speaking of Mr. F loving me…do you know how much better sex is after you’ve lost 40 pounds? LOTS. The difference is all on my end – things feel different physically and I feel different mentally and in general the whole thing is way more fun. However, showing up at your 9 a.m. meeting sporting beard burn and bite marks may be slightly unprofessional. If I’d also been drunk it would’ve been just like college.

Speaking of sex…due to my surgery, I’m not allowed to get pregnant until next year. And my surgeon does not recommend that I take the Pill because in some people it doesn’t absorb as well as it should. So at my annual exam yesterday, I got a new form of birth control: the patch. I’m Paris Hilton! Except for the jail thing. So, anybody have any feedback about the patch? The doctor gave me a sample to try for a month to see if it’s what I want to use, but I’d love to hear from you all.

Also, apparently, it’s Blog Like It’s the End of the World Day. Um. So, eek, zombies are eating my cube neighbor and I fear I’m next. At least I got laid this morning.

6 week follow up: 33 pounds!

Had my 6 week follow up today and got weighed. Total lost so far is 33 pounds. I was worried it wasn't enough but they tell me it's right on target for where I am. Not that 33 isn't great! They say that's a typical reaction in bariatric patients and it's why they tell you to stay away from the scale.

After the doc, the went to my local Curves and joined up, as they were doing a 3 months free deal and I figured now's the time to do it. I have to go have my orientation (maybe Friday) and then I'm ready to go. Yay! I'm actually looking forward to really working out and doing some resistance training. I feel so weak - not as a result of the surgery or anything, just in general, I feel like I'm not very strong. So maybe I'll be able to open pickle jars for myself in the near future.

State of the weight

It's hard for me to tell where I've lost weight since I'm mostly still wearing stretchy waistband pants and/or not getting out of my jammies for much of the day.

I did try on some jeans the other day and had to tighten the belt by two notches, which totally rocked. Am still dutifully hiding my scale so I dunno how much I've lost. I think it's hard to tell anywhere else, but I can definitely see in the pics that I've taken that I've lost a lot around my middle. So yay for that, definitely! *\o/*

27 pounds!

Had my one month follow-up today and I've lost 27 pounds already!

me me me

I was just in the shower listening to music (Shut up. Yes, apparently this working-from-home thing means I'm in my pj's until 3 p.m. So what. It's comfortable.) Anyway, I had it on shuffle and the last two songs were Seasons of Love, from Rent, and F*** Me on the Dance Floor by Princess Superstar. Oh, iPod, how I love you and your wacky choices.

So, who watched Grey's Anatomy last week? I finally did, and BWAHAHAHAHA! Col. Caldwell gets a candiru! Hee. In other t.v. news, yes, I'm watching Dancing with the Stars, and no, I am not ashamed to say, YES, I have a giant crush on Joey Fatone. He incorporated a light saber into the tango. I have no defense against that.

As far as how I'm feeling, I feel great. For the most part, better than before the surgery, even. I think I've lost at least 25 pounds now, and can really tell when I walk the flight of stairs from the parking garage to the lobby to get the mail. WAY easier already. The incisions are all healing up great, you can hardly even tell some of them are there anymore, and the neck business is barely noticeable now. Still a bit of pain on the left side but it's totally not bad. I have a follow-up with Dr. Snyder tomorrow, so I'll get weighed. Also, I'm hoping to get the all clear for nookie again. Keep your fingers crossed.

Also, note to self: Do not chew gum. Tiny Tummy does NOT like it. Blecch. Barfing up mint-flavored foam is not as pleasant as it sounds.

Getting back to work; getting better

Spoke to my boss today and we've decided to start me on half-days from home this week. It's still hard to sit for long periods, but he totally doesn't care when or really how much I work, as long as I keep up with the e-mail. So, getting back to the real world for me!

Put up a few more pictures of my neck and surgical sites. The neck is a million times better. I was finally able to shower and I loofahed the heck out of it and got all the dead skin off. Way less itchy and looks better. Belly looks better too, although I'm having some trouble with the incision where the drain came out. It feels like it's not closing up and hurts. Mr. Fantastic cleaned it up and put a butterfly bandage on it, and I'm going to pop in to the Doc's office tomorrow and ask him to look at it. It feels a lot better with the bandage, so maybe it needs to be glued shut like the others.

Trying to stay hydrated is a pain - literally - I can't gulp water like I used to, and when I forget and take too big a mouthful, Tiny Tummy protests ouchily. That's taking some getting used to. The good news is I'm not craving any foods or wishing I could eat. So far the cottage cheese, protein pudding and yougurt are doing me just fine, even if it is only an ounce at a time. Takes me half hour to eat it anyway!

Bored bored bored but feeling good.

Le sigh. I am bored. I'm tired of books, magazines, t.v., music, and walking.

In other news, I am feeling pretty good, and seem to be healing up quite nicely. The mark on my neck appears to be getting better, although now giant chunks of flesh are flaking off disgustingly. I want to loofah it or something but it still hurts too much. I'll put up a new picture when I can get Mr. F to take one.

Speaking of Mr. Fantastic...wow, has he impressed me through this whole thing. I mean aside from in general being supportive and hanging with me at the hospital every night and fetching and carrying for me without complaint, he's just been so...I don't even know how to explain it. He's been helping me with all the gross stuff, like changing my dressings and stuff and he's so gentle and caring. He makes me lay down so he can take everything off and clean up and he's so careful pulling the tape off and makes sure there's no leftover adhesive. Watching him so focused, gently dabbing at me with a cotton ball...well, I've just never really had occasion to see him like this before. It's amazing. I'm so self-sufficient, always the one taking care of things, including myself, and it makes me realize I ought to give him more opportunity to do things for me.

What else...oh, I'm now allowed to eat certain solid foods! 1 oz every two hours of cottage cheese, refried beans, pudding or yougurt. I still have to keep up with my protein drinks and water, but this is supposed to help Tiny Tummy slowly adjust to digesting things. It's like starting me on baby food. The good news is, I love all those foods and am very happy to have my 1 oz, although, it took me an hour to eat an ounce of cottage cheese yesterday. Anyway, hooray solids!

I'm back! And doing well.

Hey! I'm back! And mostly doing great, with the exception of a very sore belly. But they gave me some Oxycontin which has helped thus far, although I'm seriously considering not taking any more of it and seeing how much I could sell it for. :)

Surgery went well, but I had a very minor complication which required me to stay an extra night. Was on a morphine pump the first day and a half, then they switched me to liquid Vicodin.

While in hospital, I was surprinsingly uninterested in anything not involving myself and had no desire to even read a magazine, let alone ask Mr. Fantastic to bring Skippy in so I could get online. I had really expected to be bored out of my skull, but it turned out I was much more interested in sleeping than anything else. Plus I had nine thousand visitors, which, while I appreciated very much, completely wiped me out. So, sorry I didn't check in sooner to let you all know how I was doing.

Got home yesterday (instead of Friday as expected) and slept mostly. Today my dad and brother came over to visit and this is the first chance I've had to check e-mail. I've missed you all so much! ♥♥♥♥♥ Many, many graces and thanks to all of you who've posted your support and sent good karma my way. ♥♥♥♥♥ Keep it up, I've still got a lot of healing to do! In the mean time, here's an update on the state of me.

My new belly: Basically, they cut apart my stomach laparoscopically, separated a small pouch from the rest and rerouted some plumbing. The pouch is my new stomach, and for the next few weeks, holds only 1 oz. For comparison, most people's stomachs are about the size of a football and hold anywhere from 40-60 oz. Provided I treat it right, mine will stretch somewhat over time, ending up about 6-10 oz in about a year. For the next three weeks, I'm still on a clear liquid diet and must be vigilant about getting enough water and protein. Luckily, the protein drinks I've got (Isopure) are actually pretty good. It's $2-3 a bottle for 20 oz at my local GNC, but the cool thing is that since I'm basically drinking about an ounce of it every twenty minutes, one bottle lasts me all day. In a few weeks, I'll get to add solids in, like cottage cheese and refried beans and stuff.

The minor complication: was really very minor. Due to the fact that I bruise incredibly easily, there was some extra swelling around important bits of my innards that made it really hard for things to leave the bottom end of my new tiny tummy, which in turn made it really hard for me to put things in the top end of the new tiny tummy. Once the swelling went down enough it was smooth sailing and I was able to stay hydrated and "fed" and off the IV.

Surgical stuff: I've got six incisions, some longer than others - one's over an inch, which I didn't expect! Two of them are drain sites, the rest for the surgical tools. The drains I had are what's called a Penrose drain on the left, which is basically just an open-ended tube sticking out into the world, with the end covered by gauze. The other, which I still have, is a JP drain that is totally gross and includes a tube leading to a collection bulb that I get the pleasure of emptying and measuring and recording the output twice a day. Ick. Plus it hurts. Luckily, that gets taken out on Wednesday.

Pictures: Ugh, I had Mr. Fantastic take some full-length pics of me the night before surgery in a black tank top and boyshorts. He handed me the camera so I could look at them and I was mortifed by what I saw, exclaiming, "OMG, my ass!" He leaned over to look at them and I snatched the camera away and he laughed, saying, "Pooky, I think I already know what your ass looks like." Har har. Anyway, seeing those pictures, I was really, really horrified and gladder than ever I had made the decision for surgery. And I decided I wasn't going to put them up on the internets for all to see, because, seriously, they're gross. But you know what? I did this surgery mostly for my health, not my looks. You all know I'm a pretty self-confident girl, so I decided that if I put up those awful pictures of myself and some other overweight girl with no self-confidence sees them, maybe it'll help her in some way to see that it's not just about how you look, that people can and do look past your weight and see the cool chick inside. Maybe it'll help somebody in some way to see what another fat girl looks like in her skivvies. Because, seriously, how often does one fat girl get to see what another fat girl looks like underneath her clothes? Not often.

Plus, there'll be bonus pics of the surgery sites and the nasty brutalization of the right side of my neck where they put a PICC line in my jugular. Hooray! ;)

I have dutifully hidden my scale as instructed, so I have no idea what I weigh right now, but I'll find out at my follow-up on Wednesday and let you all know. I do know I lost 4 pounds from the 23rd to the 3rd, so the clear liquid diet I was on prolly had a big hand in that. I am thrilled to be home and especially to sleep in my own bed again. I sure did miss the bulk of Mr. Fantastic sleeping next to me.

Will post more soon. Again, thanks to all of you for your kind words and support. I can't tell you how much it's meant to me. ♥